We all have times in our life when the fight becomes so heavy that no matter our accomplishments, lessons, or victories, we fall into a place where everything seems utterly hopeless. In the moment, hope seems out of reach. The will to continue the fight putters like a dying flame. Take Elijah, he had performed miracles, gave aid to those who needed it and dealt with the spiritual corruption plaguing Isreal. But after all that, the outrage that followed became too much, and he feared for life.
1 Kings 19:1-5
Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”
3 Elijah was afraid[a] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.
Tired and exhausted from the struggle, he was so empty and discouraged that he asked God to take him out. He was alone, with nowhere to run. Depression had overtaken him because, in the moment, I imagine so many questions were running through his mind.
Questions like:
What’s the point?
After everything I’ve done for you, Lord, why are things still the same?
Where is this going?
All of us have been there. We pray for something so incredibly important and yet, as the fight carries on, things don’t appear to be heading in that direction. We feel abandoned, lost, and wondering if we heard Papa correctly.
For the whole time he was on mission, like so many of us, he understand the point of the task assigned to him. Because as he was working, he was imagining the end result. Yet, when we reach the larger battle, when the fighting is the hardest and at its most critical stage, where the moments are their darkest, our Enemy is so very quick to pounce and strike hard.
He’ll use any tactic against us and perhaps his most favorite tact is using the people closest to us or even in the church to get to walk away. Is this familiar:
I don’t see God in this.
You aren’t hearing right.
You need to read your bible again and check yourself.
Stop defying God and do as I say.
You’re wrong. God doesn’t do things like that.
Now, before I go on, I want to say this. Godly council is a good thing and necessary, but we also have to be careful. There are many people with ‘spiritual opinions’ that don’t come from Adonai. In the big fights, discernment is so key. Knowing how to hear his direction, to the intel he gives you, and acting on it, no matter how crazy it seems, is beyond essential.
Case in point: 1 Kings 17-7-24
Because this section is so long, I will not type it out, but will note the highlights and I encourage you to read it for yourselves. Two of the key points are the jugs of oil and the death of the woman’s son.
Elijah gave the woman a set of instructions. Both seemed unreasonable in the circumstances, especially in the first instance where a drought was involved. But because she listened, no matter how unreal it seemed, she followed instruction and had enough oil to last her through the drought. Not only that, there was enough left over to sell and get the money she needed to feed her family.
In the second instance, her son died. Now death to us is pretty final, but to God it’s trivial. From her perspective, she thought she was being punished for something she had done. Elijah had stayed with her and her family, and so far things had been good. She saw it as a blessing until her son died. But Elijah, led by Papa, told her to give him the boy’s body, then took him upstairs and brought him back to life.
Had she not listened, despite how unusual it was, the results would have been dramatically different. She had the choice to walk away or stay the course. You are no different. The enemy wants you to walk away from whatever you are fighting for. To give up and stop being impeding his progress.
Looking at my current struggle and reflecting my past battles, I realize how often I mistook walking away for doing the right thing. But despite those times, I take them lessons for the future. Instead of lamenting of what could have been, I am taking them as teachable moments on how to fight better and harder. To push past my own fleshly limits and finite perspective and see things from Adonai’s vantage.
He’s the King, and I’m the general. He issues the orders, and I execute them. It’s just that simple. Look here:
1 Kings 19:10-17
And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
10 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
14 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
15 The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”
By the end of the dialogue, Elisha got to see the fruits of his labors. Not only that, he got to see God display who he was. The importance of the display is to show that such things are simply for Him. It’s like us walking to the kitchen or turning on a light switch.
In the hardest moment, when despair had overtaken him, Elisha heard from God and was given a larger picture of who he was and what he was capable of. The entire time he was lost and hurting, God never stopped working.
In a personal example, with some specific things I have been praying about, God spoke this to me:
You don’t know what I know.
You don’t see what I see.
For if you did, you would understand.
The reason I don’t tell you is because, if you knew, you wouldn’t learn how to rely on me when you most need to.
There are times when trust in our relationship is crucial to its growth.
So, that when the promise arrives, the meaning behind the season is so much more powerful.
You will have moments in your life when things won’t make sense. The fight is incredibly difficult, and you feel entirely on your own. But you aren’t. You may have people who don’t believe or don’t see where you are being led. But that’s okay. The past you walk isn’t theirs.
The journey you are on is meant for you. So walk proudly as a son or daughter of the King. Papa will see you through and when you come out on the other side, the Enemy will scream in frustration.
You are amazing.
You are loved.
Don’t give up and don’t give in. You got this!