All too often in our lives, we are hit in ways that hurt us the most. We work so hard to fight for our hopes and dreams that when we feel like progress is within our grasp, something comes along and clocks us. It could be an event, someone close to us, or any number of little things. Even Something simple as ‘friendly advice’ can send us spiraling.
I’ve encountered this often in my life. People will come along thinking they are being helpful, but really they’re doing more harm that good. It comes back to something I’ve written about often.
NOT EVERYONE WILL SHARE YOUR DREAM OR VISION FOR THE FUTURE.
I’ll say it again.
NOT EVERYONE WILL SHARE YOUR DREAM OR VISION FOR THE FUTURE.
Their hopes aren’t your hopes, their plans aren’t your plans, their thoughts aren’t your thoughts. The dreams we have often go unrealized because we take advice from well-intending people, but too often those people are the very ones we should run away from full blast.
I read a story once about a man who lost everything. He was a pillar of the community, very wealthy, with a lot of kids who were also well off thanks to his financial success. But in a matter of days, disaster struck. The circumstances were so astounding that it’s hard to imagine this much calamity could happen to one person.
He lost his business, his children, his home, and every financial resource he had. The man had nothing. Even his wife cursed him and, as far as I know, wanted nothing to do with him after everything that befell them. So the man fell into utter depression, broken and destitute.
Questions burned inside him:
How could this have happened?
What did I do?
Where did I go wrong?
After a time, some close business partners came to him. It horrified them to see a man they had known to be so successful in such a desolate state. He always had the nicest of things, the best of everything. Now he was in rags and tatters, his beard was unkept, and alone in his misery. But the truly tragic thing for this man was that instead of helping him. His friends offered advice on what he should have done and how he went wrong.
I mean, can you imagine? This poor businessman lost everything, including his family, and these prominent people simply came to offer advice, not even taking the time to grieve with him for all he’d lost.
By the end of the discussion, the message from his supposed ‘friends’ was clear: You have only yourself to blame. If you have done better or chosen this route, you would still have everything.
To me, that’s absolutely crushing. But how many times in our lives have we been there? People are so quick to offer advice on how to fix our problems, but they rarely take the time to listen to our plans and dreams. They don’t share the vision and often deter us from taking the steps we need to arrive at where we’re supposed to be.
More often, they speak of how we will fail, rather that look at ways to find success. The man in the story’s friends were the same. They took more time to point out his flaws rather than look for ways that would point him to success. Then they left, leaving him alone, still broke and more depressed than when they had come.
So what did the man do? Well, after a time, he came to himself and remembered who he was and what he was capable of. He doubled down and slowly regained what he lost little by little. His wife returned, and he was blessed with a new family. He used his understanding of the market to regain more than what he had before, so much in fact that his ‘friends’ couldn’t even look at him because they were too ashamed to admit how badly they mistreated him instead of helping him up.
So what changed?
Well simply put, by finding himself again, the businessman saw a vision of who he was and where he was going. Instead of allowing himself to remain stuck, he reached out, reclaiming what he lost by pursuing it, regardless of the finger pointing and well-intentioned advice of others. He believed in the dream, and I guarantee found grater value in what he got back after such a devastating defeat.
Life has a way of doing that, but it means pushing past the tough spots and navigating the dark places we fall into. I’m not saying we shouldn’t take good advice, but we also need to pay attention to who we give our ears to. Not everyone is on board and not everyone is meant to be on our team. Wisdom dictates who those people are.
So for all of you who have a dream or vision for your future. No matter how big or small it is, don’t let yourself get discouraged from reaching it. We only limit ourselves when we do. There is always a way to arrive at the place you’re reaching for. Just push through those moments when you feel like there’s no traction. The pain you experience is called growth, and it will give you the ability to endure the journey and arrive at your destination.
Regards,
Matt