When we look at the past, what do we see? Is it a mired swamp, full of toxic gases and deadly wildlife that left you horribly scarred? Or is it something that you can glance over our shoulders and say, “Those events have shaped me?”.
I think in either case, both are true. While some see the swamp and others don’t, regardless, what we look at has still had a profound effect on our development and on who we are now. I think considering this, it’s important to take a moment from time to time and reflect on what came and went in our lives. It’s also important to remember not to forget what we see in that moment of introspection as we stare at ourselves, possibly for the first time, in this mirror when we begin the process of digging through the mess that is us.
Because as the old saying goes, “After the man saw himself in the mirror, he immediately walked away, forgetting who he was. It was simply too much to bear.”
Anytime we take stock of ourselves, there has to be a moment of honesty. The mirror can’t lie. Its impartial. All it can do is strip away the layers to help you see what’s underneath. After that, it’s up to us to decide what we do with the information.
That’s the hardest part. Too often we’re tempted to look away. Because, like the man staring at himself, it was simply too much. But if we don’t face it, then how can we make genuine progress? How do we heal?
More often than not, we simply bury the issue. Pushing it back into our subconscious minds all the while thinking we’ve dealt with it. In truth, though, the bitterness, resentment or whatever other emotions tied to those circumstances lay dormant, like a cancer in remission.
Very recently, I came to understand this problem in my own life. My eyes became opened to how deeply bitterness and resentment had built up within me. More so, when I discovered it was toward specific people I allowed myself to believe that I had forgiven.
Because of this, I slowly struggled with engaging people. I’ve become less involved with social media and, more importantly, my website. I was starving to create new content outside of my already completed work, some of which I have decided needs improvement.
My motivation faded, and I was allowing constant distractions to get in the way, slowing my progress, of preparing the final draft of my book finished. Before long, one excuse after another arose.
But when I stopped and really started digging, my eyes were suddenly open. For better or worse, I have to take responsibility for myself. If I, or any of us, spend our time blaming others for the state we are in, even unconsciously, can we ever move forward?
I know I’m not alone in this. I mean, if I let specific hurts drag me to a place where my ability to function as a healthy person is hindered, then surely I’m not the only one who has struggled with the same thing. It’s the silent, forgotten pains of life that cut into our souls. So when we’re dragging or not feeling up to snuff, the root cause is these terrible pains clutching to us like a rotten corpse. So we have to let them go. Somehow, we have to forgive if we want to heal. We can’t let the people who have hurt us be the excuse that binds us. It can’t slow our lives to a crawl. Because if we allow it, then the only people we are really hurting are ourselves.
This is just me sharing my thoughts. If you can relate, leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.
Regards,
Matt